Red Adenium (this title lacks originality and should be replaced by a flashier one, but since I am rather busy today, what with the toad infestation and the sudden deafening noises, I elect to do nothing about it–please accept my apologies)

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Nobody wants more gardening advice, but I’m in that kind of mood. My adenium bloomed today and I will share some of that joy with you.

Adeniums are also known as Delores–the dishy girl at the ice cream counter–or, more drearily, desert roses. Colorwise, they are mostly Prescient Pink (check your Crayola box); nevertheless, there are other colors, none of which are gaudy or in any way reminiscent of a bad nightmare. My adeniun is red.

There are several ways to get a red adenium. One involves messy biology, sex organs, lures (you can message Gregor Mendel if you get into trouble, but don’t expect an answer in the evenings, as he works at a busy though reputable massage parlor) and the other is to use lipstick. Naturally the second method is preferable.

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1 Comment

  1. And what a stunning example you have dear Prospero! I too have dabbled in the sordid half-light of plant porn; cotton bud in hand furtively dashing from acorn squash to acorn squash and courgette (oooh la-la) to courgette flower. It’s a mutually beneficial affair, well right up until the point I steal their children and eat them it is anyway.

    Still, life isn’t perfect, unlike your bloom sir, which most certainly is.

    – Esme nodding and winking and saying no more upon the Cloud

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